The Things I've Learned

One of the regular features in Esquire magazine, which I will subscribe to until my earthly life ends (and hope that I can find one on a coffee table somewhere in the afterlife) is called “The Things I’ve Learned.” It’s always informative, entertaining and can be inspirational. Here’s my version … with respect to Esquire.
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Given the choice between the dime store on the corner and the giant, discount super center down the street, I’m taking the dime store every day of the week and twice on Sundays.

The best rock ‘n roll money can buy still comes courtesy of Led Zeppelin.

As a photographer, I’ve learned that 99 percent of people look best when they’re smiling. The other 1 percent happen to be models.

The 42-inch plasma screen is a fantastic buy. But spring for the 50.

You get what you pay for — especially when it comes to cooking knives, speakers and shoes.

If everybody would just take a deep breath and slow down, imagine how many car accidents, divorces and wars could be avoided.

Don’t give up the bigger slice of the pie. Give up the whole thing. It’ll come back to you.

Stand up for your rights, because if you give ‘em an inch, they’ll take a constitution. The most important sovereignty in the history of the world is the sovereignty of the individual.

Go ahead and turn up the music. But know when it’s time to turn it down.

Baseball and golf are the greatest sports ever invented. Everything else is just background noise.

You know the men and women who work behind the meat counter at large grocery stores? Most of them love their jobs and want nothing more than to see you get exactly what you want. The least you can do is say please and thank you.

Flying sucks. It’s time for a complete re-evaluation of the railroad system; we need to find that train ticket again.

Take it easy on the jalapenos. Not everybody likes your chili as spicy as you do.

Think about the things in life that make you happy. Every day.

If you've got something you've learned, please share it with the rest of us!